It's so weird to have made this decision because it's honestly never really a direction that I saw my life going. My five year plan has always been about school, school, school. I wanted to get in college and work like crazy and get my Bachelors and then immediately go on to my Masters, and finish all of this as quickly as I could so that I could finally start a career. A mission was always a pushed aside thought that I never completely ruled out but also never really gave that much thought to. Until last year that is...
Being involved in the freak accident that happened last year gave me a whole new perspective on life. Much of what exactly happened with my accident is a blur to me but I do remember one part very vividly and still have nightmares about it--I remember staring up at the sky and thinking that this was it for me. I knew my head had been cut open and I knew I was bleeding badly. The pain was excruciating and I can't get the images of the horrified crowd staring down at me out of my mind. What the worst part about thinking that my life was coming to an end was that all I could think about was all the regrets that I had--there was so much that I wanted to change about my life and so many things I wanted to do. Surviving and walking away from this accident gave me a new lease on life. I know its cliche and I hear it all the time but it is true-life is fragile and short. It made me realize I need to live my life to the fullest. I don't want to have any regrets when my time really does come. Which brings me back to my decision to serve a mission...
I know that most girls my age are finding their special someone's and getting married, which I think is absolutely wonderful and I am very happy for them. However, for me, I have so many things that I want to do, such as a mission, that I can only do while I'm still single. I have plenty of time for marriage and a family-I'm only 21 and have my whole life ahead of me. It was a hard choice to decide to take a year and a half off of school when I'm already behind schedule as it is but I know what I'm doing is right. When filling out my application for the University of Utah to enroll for Fall Semester I felt very unsure and scared for my future and I never finished filling out the application--something just didn't feel right. That's when I really started to fervently pray about the decision I needed to make. The next week I began to fill out mission papers and the feelings I had filling those out were in sharp contrast to the feelings I had when applying for school. I felt calm and at peace and knew that I was taking my life in the right direction. I had my answer and couldn't deny that I know the Lord's plan includes me serving a mission.
I am now anxiously awaiting my doctor's appointment in May (that was the soonest appointment my Neuro-Surgeon had) to determine whether or not I will be able to serve. I still suffer from neck pain every day so I must get my doctor's approval to let me leave for a year and a half.
I know that serving a mission will be a great sacrifice but I also know I will experience blessings and experiences that I would not have had if I had chosen not to serve. I look forward to finally getting my priorities straight and putting the Lord and His work first.
