Where has the time gone?

So...it's been awhile.  Since I last wrote I got married, went on a wonderful honeymoon, moved, and started school and am now about halfway through.  So, yeah, nothing new with me ;)

For all those who are not satisfied with my two line catch-up summary, I will go into more detail.

Jeff and I were married in St. George.  We drove down to St George Thursday afternoon and had an amazing wedding dinner that night at the Black Bear Diner with the friends and family who had traveled all the way down to St. George for our sealing.  I loved having such a small number of friends and family there because it was so much more intimate-every person there had made such an impact on our lives.  Both of our parents came, as well as all of our siblings (minus Jeff's brother who is on a mission) and my sisters-in-law.  We also had Jeff's grandma and grandpa Duerden, my grandma Ruggles, a few of our aunts and uncles, Jeff's childhood friend Matt, my amazing friends Holli, Caitlin, Laurel and her husband Phil, Britney and her husband Adam, Alli, and Lynzee.  My mission president, who happens to live in St. George, and his wife also came to the dinner and sealing. 

That night I barely slept, partly because half of my family was all staying in one small hotel room, and partly because I was so nervous for the next day.  It was surreal to think that the following day my life would change forever.  My dad gave me a wonderful father's blessing which brought me peace of mind and comfort as I started to get anxious about what a big decision this was.

The next morning I woke up at the ridiculous hour of 5 a.m. and left with my dad to go have my hair and makeup done.  I sat in a chair for hours as Kelli transformed me from the walking dead to a bride.  Once she was done, my family picked me up and we drove over to the St.George temple.

As Jeff and I sat in the waiting room next to the sealing room and watched as all our guests made their way to our sealing room.  What was amazing about our sealing room is it is right off of the celestial room, so all of our guests were required to dress in white.  It was a beautiful sight to walk into the sealing room and see a room full of our loved ones all in white.  As corny as it sounds, it was like getting a glimpse of heaven, especially when considering the significance of the ordinance done in that particular room.  Jeff and I sat down next to each other and listened as our sealer spoke about the sealing ordinance and the importance of the covenants we have made and would be making with each other.  We then were asked to go kneel at the altar.  Words can't describe how it felt to look across the altar and see Jeff and hear the words "I now pronounce you man and wife, legally married for time and all eternity."  The wait was over, and were now married.

After the sealing we exchanged rings, and then we all left the room together.  I was escorted back to the beautiful bride's room where my mom was supposed to meet me to help me get my wedding dress on.  Yeah, she stood me up.  I got the dress on by myself and the nice temple worker helped me hook it and put my veil on.  I then walked out to the foyer and met up with Jeff.  We waited for a bit and then walked outside to meet all our guests.  And then came the most awkward moment of my life (which is saying a lot for me); all of our guests just continued to talk pictures with NO ONE coming to greet us.  So Jeff and I stood there awkwardly as our pictures were taken 100+ times (I now understand better what celebrities must feel like...).  After everyone decided to stop being awkward, we took a million pictures with our family and friends, doing our best to stay out of the blazing St. George heat.  And then came the time to make the 4 hour drive back up to Salt Lake for our reception in Draper.

The reception was amazing and it was so great to see so many of our friends and family throughout the years.  We had a candy buffet that was a huge success, as well as a photobooth.  It was just the fun, casual reception we had hoped for.  Apparently it was a little too casual because when it came time to cut our cake, turns out we had completely forgotten to get a knife to cut it.  Being the resourceful person that he is, my dad offered us the back of a fork, and it actually got the job done.  Word to the wise who are planning a wedding--don't waste money on a cake knife and server--the handle of any utensil works just fine.

Before we knew it, the reception was over and we were rushing to our car and driving away to go to our surprise honeymoon (courtesy of Jeff's parents) to Key West, FL, Cayman Islands, and Jamaica!!   We flew out to Florida first and boarded the cruise ship there.  It was absolutely amazing and better than any honeymoon I had ever imagined.  We had a great time together and enjoyed all of the islands, even Jamaica where the people are far too pushy (but we found the secret to avoiding them is simply speaking French to each other and they leave you alone).  The week flew by and before we knew it we were heading to Indiana for our second reception with Jeff's side of the family.

We got to Indiana really late because of a very delayed flight.  Despite the late hour, Jeff insisted we head over to Steak and Shake because it is something he really misses from Indiana.  So, at 11:30 at night, we ate dinner with his family.  We then drove over to his grandparents Receveur's house and spent the night there.  The next day we had another fun reception at his grandparents Deurden's backyard--this time instead of having a photobooth, we had a cotton candy machine :)  I got to meet many of Jeff's relatives, which was way fun because usually we only see mine since we are in Utah. 

The honeymoon was definitely over once we got home to Utah, since we both went back to work right after, and then school started.  This semester has been crazy for both of us and hasn't allowed us to spend much time together, which makes those once-a-week temple nights and date nights highly anticipated.  Jeff is an amazing husband and I am so thankful that things worked out the way they did for us because I can't imagine life without him.  He is by far my better half.

First set of groomals

So last Sunday I came home from church to an email from my photographer, stating she was clearing out her calendar because her father-in-law was diagnosed with brain cancer, and would therefore be unavailable to do our pictures that Wednesday.  Needless to say I may or may not have had a meltdown.  Yet another thing that seemed to be falling through last minute.  My amazing roommates immediately went to work to search for a photographer in my price range that would be free that Wednesday--not an easy task!  While they searched, Jeff and I went to our interview with my bishop.  After he gave us some advice he had Jeff leave so we could do my temple recommend interview.  Before he could even start I just started crying and asked him for a blessing because I had reached my limit.  He gave me a beautiful blessing and immediately I felt so much calmer and knew things were going to work out. 

And I'm happy to report they did!  Holli got in contact with her freshman roommate who is a photographer and she was able to switch her schedule around to take our pictures Wednesday night.  I was nervous about just going with a photographer who I hadn't really looked at their work, but Jeff and I were desperate.  But I can't tell you how pleasantly surprised we were when she posted the first sneak peak to Facebook.  It was EXACTLY what we had wanted and the picture looked flawless.  And it just got better when she posted even more pictures later to her blog.  We decided we liked her style so much better than our original photographer. 

I was telling my dad about the chaos of trying to get our pictures done and how in the end it all worked out beautifully, and my dad just laughed and asked me when I would stop being so surprised when everything works out, since it always does in the end.  How right he is.  Time and time again Heavenly Father shows me who truly is in control, and I just need to learn to stop and remember that BEFORE I enter stress out mode.

Here's a sampling of our groomals from the amazing Lora Grady:

http://www.loragradyphotography.com/blog/2012/07/21/harmony-jeff-provo-wedding-photography/

Stupid Murphy

     Yesterday marked 4 weeks until the wedding....which of course means I am now in total freak out mode trying to get everything put together.  And let's just say that murphy's law is in full force as it seems lately that EVERYTHING seems to be going wrong.  I went to get my dress altered, only to find out that thanks to a lovely thing called birth control that the top part of my wedding dress no longer fit.  The seamstress took it out, however she went a little crazy with it and now the top is too big.  The worst part is when I tried it on again, I hated it, but she managed to convince me in the moment that it looked fine.  But now I can't stop thinking about how horrible it looked and how unhappy I am with it.  With only 4 weeks to go and bridal pictures coming up, the last thing I need is to be unhappy with my dress.

     Another major stumbling block we have run into is my aunt volunteered to do our wedding announcements at cost.  I was weery at first, but jumped at the chance to save some money.  Now I'm regretting that decision.  My aunt is very opinionated and knows what she likes and wants to do, which works well for the businesswoman she is, however it is a major challenge to deal with when working with her.  Jeff and I went to her house last week, armed with a sample of EXACTLY what we wanted.  Unfortunately, my aunt also had a sample of what she was envisioning, and it was far different.  Before I knew it, she was drawing up an announcement based on her sample, not ours.  I stressed to her the important things I wanted on the announcement and she said ok, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach when we left that the announcements would end up being nothing close to what we wanted.  Unfortunately I found out today I was right.  The announcement looked EXACTLY like the sample she had shown us, and NOTHING like the sample we had brought and left with her.  With so little time left and wanting to get announcements out by the beginning of next week, I am beyond frustrated and stressed out right now.  It just feels like control over the wedding planning has completely slipped out of my hands and there isn't anything I can do about it.

    Jeff, seeing all my stress over the wedding planning, put together a whole day date for us yesterday since we both had the day off.  We went swimming in the morning at his apartment.  When Jeff came to pick me up after we both got ready, he surprised me with a dozen beautiful roses!  We then hadbrunch at Einstein Bagels.  After eating we drove over to Trafalga where we played some mini golf (I totally won...that is if highest score wins, which in my version of golf, it does) and won some tickets playing the games.  After that we drove over to the movie theater to see "The Amazing Spiderman".  And I must say, it is quite amazing, definitely better than the old ones.  We finished the day off with Jeff cooking me dinner and then getting together with my roommates and other people in the ward to watch "Ferris Buellers Day Out" outside in our parking lot--very cool :)
     I know I need to see the bigger picture now and not get so lost in the small wedding details, and instead of focus on what's most important.  It's like Elder Mautz told me...no matter what, the important thing is we will be married.  Less than four weeks from now, I get to marry my best friend for time and all eternity.  What's there to be upset about?

   

More engagement pictures

Here is a sampling of some of our favorites!


His first present to me was a Squeez-it on Valentine's Day-he used it as an excuse to come and see me while I was studying

Engagement pictures!

I am having a hard time choosing between the one on the left and the middle one.  Jeff likes the left, I like the middle, and everyone in my family can't agree either.  Who knew it would be this hard to choose one little picture--maybe its because I know this picture will be all over fridges across America, France, and New Caledonia...

"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive."

This past weekend was a wonderful weekend spent with my mom's extended family in Park City for our annual Mother's Day celebration.  I think for us all it will be a weekend we will never forget because it would also mark the last time for many of us that we would get to see our grandpa alive.  Wednesday evening at 6:25 p.m. our grandpa Ruggles passed away.

I received notice that my grandpa had been hospitalized tuesday night the next morning at work.  Needless to say, I was beside myself and unsure what I should do, since I live an hour away from family now.  I spoke with my manager and he told me to leave whenever I wanted to.  In the end I decided to stay, telling myself I would just leave straight for the hospital after work.  Unfortunately, grandpa took a turn for the worse around 5 pm and I wasn't able to leave work until right before 6.  Jeff and I rushed to the hospital, but with the hour drive ahead of us, deep down I knew that I would not be given the opportunity to say goodbye to him.  Around 6:20 my sister texted me telling me to hurry because it wouldn't be much longer and about ten minutes later I received a call from my brother telling me that my grandpa had passed away.  It was surreal walking into the hospital and seeing all of my extended family gathered around hugging and crying.  My mom saw us and ran right into my arms bawling.  Together we walked into the hospital room to see my grandpa.  It is amazing how quickly death can change a person's appearance.  Gone were the mannerisms that made grandpa who he was-his little smirk, chuckle-like laugh, and squinted eyes that made it hard to tell sometimes if he was paying attention or had dozed off-all replaced with a cold hard body.  Even after seeing him it still seemed so unreal that he was actually gone.

It's interesting to watch how we all deal with the pain of losing someone.  For some in my family the pain is masked through using humor, even at the most inappropriate times.  For others, uncontrollabe tears.  And for some, anger against the deceased and a feeling of not receiving the closure that was needed.  I'm not sure if I fit into any of these categories.  I have found that a mixture of humor, tears, prayers, and the gospel have helped me get through the past couple of days.  As for anger or resentment, I feel none towards him.  My grandpa was not the most openly loving person and I can't recall a time he ever told me that he loved me and it was on a rare occassion that we would hug, but that doesn't mean he didn't love me or any of us.  My grandpa showed his love in more subtle ways.  He was at our baby blessings, baptisms, weddings, most of our graduations, farewells, and homecomings.  When I think of those big moments in my life, my grandpa was there supporting me...even if he was sleeping ;) (can't really blame the guy, I had a big graduating class).  Whenever I made a point to sit next to him at gatherings he would always ask me questions about myself.  The first time he met Jeff, before we were even engaged, he asked him how he intended to support his granddaughter.  My grandpa wasn't perfect, but frankly who is?  As my dad said last night, we all learn how to be parents through our parents examples...for good or bad...and that grandpa wasn't given the best examples of what being a good parents means.  But one thing that grandpa did have was a good heart and he truly did love his family.  He will be very missed.

Yesterday Jeff and I made a spur of the moment decision to walk around Temple Square.  We ended our walk in the visitors center, staring up at the beautiful statue of Christ.  How grateful I am for the doctrine found in 1 Corinthians:

"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive."

Christ lives.  Thanks to Him, death is not the end.  Because of Him I will get to see my beloved Grandma and Grandpa Hurst and Ruggles again.  Through His power and gospel our family has been sealed for time and all eternity.  What comfort it brings me to realize that although the sting of death hurts so much for those of us on this side of the veil, how wonderful it must feel for those that pass through to the other side, now finally being able to rest from their earthly pains and troubles and reunite with loved ones that have already left.

"In the end everything will be okay.  If it's not okay, it's not the end."  Thanks to the gospel of Jesus Christ, truly everything will be okay in the end.

April Fools...on me!

Yesterday definitely did NOT go how I was planning....

A few weeks ago Jeff got me a fake diamond ring that I started wearing around to fool people-I know, horrible. But the ring gave us inspiration for the best April fool's joke on my family--we decided Jeff was going to fake propose on April Fools when we were at my parents' house for my birthday party.

That was the plan. Turns out Jeff had another idea...

There we were. Me, sitting in the armchair with Boston opening up my birthday gifts, the rest of my family gathered around on chairs around me, and Jeff across from me on the couch. I, or I should say Boston, quickly opened my birthday presents from the rest of my family, and then I set Boston down and I tried very sneakily to catch Jeff's attention to nudge him to do the fake proposal. But he just sat there, taking his precious time while everyone else started talking and losing interest. And then finally he got up. He announced that there was one more thing for me. He told me he knew how much my family meant to me and how he knew I would want them here for this (the whole time he is talking I am laughing inside because I think he is just hamming the whole fake proposal up). He then pulled out a beautiful little wooden box and got on one knee. He then asked me if I would marry him and then opened the box. There, sitting in the box, was MY ring, the beautifully perfect engagement ring that Jeff and I had looked at weeks ago. Jeff had sneakily gone and bought the ring without me knowing a thing and had told my family he was going to propose so they were all ready with cameras to capture the moment. Just when I think I'm going to be pulling a prank on them, the whole situation turns around and it turns out I was the only one who DIDN'T know I was going to be actually, legitimately proposed to.

So yes, it was in a sense an april fool's joke...on me! Instead of getting fake proposed to, I got the real deal!

We will be married in the St. George Temple (my favorite temple since I was young) on August 3. We will be doing a reception that night in Riverton in my aunt's backyard and the following morning we will be flying out for our surprise honeymoon (thank you future in-laws!), followed by a reception in Indiana on the 12 (although Jeff is from New York most of his family is in Indiana).

Just When You Least Expect It....

So much to say and I don't know where to start...

As I blogged about a month ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was an emotional wreck after and wished I could just understand why it needed to happen and why neither one of us felt it wasn't right. He and I broke up on a thursday and then on saturday got together to try and talk things out to see if we could figure out why. We had a good talk and I learned a lot of things about myself and about him, but come tuesday, we both just realized that we had given it our best shots and it just wasn't meant to last between us. It was a hard reality to face, but immediately after I drove away from him that night, I felt immediate peace and confidence that everything was going to be fine.

So here is where things get really interesting...but first a little bit of background information:

About 2 1/2 years ago I entered a little place called the MTC...a place full of homesick missionaries and all you can eat cafeteria foods...truly a dream come true ;) In the MTC there is only one French Zone that includes all the missionaries that will be speaking French. Since my district was so small with just my companion, our solo elder, and me, we would get combined with another district for different things. We became pretty close with that district and were sad when they left three weeks before we did, especially since we wouldn't be seeing them again for about two years. About two weeks after they left, I was VERY surprised when I received a letter from one of the elders in that district--an Elder Receveur. Elder Receveur was an elder from New York who went to the Belgium/France mission.

And so it began. I'll admit that it took me a few months, but I finally wrote him back. And then he wrote me quickly back....and it soon became a competition to see who could write back the quickest. We ended up writing each other all the way through both of our missions--that's right, once I got home I still continued to write him. My companions were quick to realize that I would receive many letters from one specific elder and would tease me and tell me we would end up dating after our missions. I just laughed it off and told them it was nothing, that we were both missionaries who needed someone to write. But I couldn't deny the big smile on my face every time I'd see a letter from him waiting for me.

Fast forward to June 2011. My intentions upon coming home were to date as much as I could and stay single until January-when I would be seeing Elder Receveur, Jeff, at BYU. I know it seems a little crazy that I would want to wait for an elder I hadn't ever dated before, but something just kept telling me that I would regret not going on a date with him. But then the unexpected happened and a boyfriend from my past came back into the picture and I fell in love. We ended up dating long distance for about 4 months and then he moved to the state and we dated exclusively. This was a hard decision to make, once again because of one elder. But I felt I should give my current relationship the best chance it could have, so I "wrote off" Elder Receveur in my mind, telling myself that nothing was going to happen anyways.

Fast forward again to February 2012. After many prayers and temple visits, TJ and I both realized that we just weren't right for each other and things weren't meant to be. We broke up and the NEXT day I ran into Elder Receveur...Jeff...on campus. My first thoughts were "Heavenly Father, what are you trying to pull?!" We ended up going to lunch with some of my old companions and then talking outside the library for over 2 hours. Timing wise, it wasn't the best day for me to see him because I was still such a wreck from the break-up the night before. Thankfully we ended up hanging out later once I received my closure from my break-up, and I was finally able to start enjoying dating again.

And boy have I enjoyed dating :) For a month now Jeff and I have spent every day together, and are with each other any time neither one of us has class (or sometimes I go to class with him, I know, I'm a nerd), work, or needs to sleep. It's crazy to think we've only been dating a month because it feels like we've been together so much longer than that. I guess that's the benefit of living close and being able to spend so much time together. I love all the fun things we have done or are planning to do. He loves adventure just as much as me so our weekly date nights are always fun and different :)

I feel so different in this relationship than I have felt in the past. Things feel so right and everything just seems to be fitting together...kinda like finding that missing piece to the puzzle. It's just amazing to see the Lord's hand in all of it.

Stay tuned for more exciting updates ;)

One week later...

Crazy how much things can change in one week. Last saturday i was an emotional wreck as I tried to deal with the sadness from the break-up. But then after a good talk Tuesday night I finally found complete peace. And I've been great ever since! I know without a doubt it was the right decision for both of us, and that our time together wasn't meant to last. I'm thankful for all the things I learned about myself these past months, and all the learning and growing that came. I'm ready to face the future and accept and embrace whatever the Lord has in store for me. I hope I can do better at seeking out the Lord and listening to the Spirit so that I can receive that confirmation that the Lord is pleased with the path I'm taking.

Side note: I finally got a "well done" on a midterm! Best Valentine's gift ever!!

I will go and I will do...but I wish I could understand why

Thank you Heavenly Father for answering the "True or False" question, now if you would be so kind as to fill out the essay response that answers "Why?!"

His ways are not my ways

My life direction is about to take a 90 degree turn. Things that I have felt so sure on are suddenly no longer clear. Things that I have wanted so desperately no longer feel right. Why would the Lord do this to me--make me feel so sure about something, only to tell me later, "just kidding, you really should do something else"? I have felt so lost and confused this past week as I have been through a rollercoaster of emotions. But now as I write this I can say that I feel at peace. Why? Because I came to terms last night at around midnight that I need to let go of the past and press forward with faith for the future.
Allow me to be less vague. I am changing my major. Shocking, I know. Finance has been my passion and dream ever since I started working for AFCU in 2007. And yet here I am, about 5 years later, turning away from it to pursue something else. You see, the Marriott School of Management is changing its Finance program. The business management program that I worked so hard to get accepted into, is getting rid of its financial emphasis. If I were to pursue Finance, I would have to do it as a separate major, which means applying again to be accepted. So is that why I'm wanting to change my major? No, I'm not that lazy....but this change in the program has allowed me to step back and analyze where I am right now and how happy I am with my major. And that's when it hit me--I don't really enjoy my finance classes, in fact, they have usually been among my least enjoyable classes so far. I realized that the reason I love Finance is because I love helping people who are struggling to make ends meet and who need someone to sit down with them and teach them how to budget. However, this is not what a finance major at BYU entails. The classes I would have to take would include classes like "Corporate Finance" and "Advanced Investments"....basically I would help the rich get richer. That's not what I want to do, I don't find that fulfilling in the slightest. So as I listened to the advisor explain the new finance program to me last week, I just had a strong feeling that I should consider finding another emphasis in the Business Management program. Which brings me to my thought of becoming a Business Management major with an emphasis in......Organizational Behavior! I love my OB class this semester and have always thought that I would enjoy a job in HR--being able to work with people and make sure their is a good work environment for employees. Plus I am also not afraid to tell it how it is when it comes to disciplinary action and termination for employees. Everyone I have talked to about my possible career change has mentioned that they think that would be a good fit for me. The hardest part about changing is letting go of the past, letting go of something that has been a part of who I am...I'm Harmony Hurst, the finance major. It just has made me wonder why the Lord would have guided me in the direction of finance, when in the end it doesn't feel right. But my wise father pointed out that if it weren't for finance, I wouldn't have been in the business school. I wouldn't have been taking my OB class this semester. Just when we think the Lord's plans for us couldn't be any more random or confusing, we need to take a step back and look at the greater picture. My job at AFCU helped me decide my major in Finance, and it also caused me to be hit by the hand dolly, which led me to eventually serving a mission. My major in finance led me to the business school, which has now led me to a major that I find more enjoyable. It's like Elder Bednar mentioned once in conference--when we look up close at a painting sometimes we can only see just a bunch of random splotches that seem to have no rhyme or reason. But when we take a step back and see the full picture, we behold the beautiful painting the artist created. It's the same things Heavenly Father is doing with our lives, we just need to allow Him control of the paintbrush.