Pondering....

My portion of my mission papers is done! I sent in the recommendation today to my bishop and all he's waiting for is for my dental evaluation to come in the mail and then I'll finally get to do my two interviews with the bishop and stake president and finally get my call! I can't wait--it's been very difficult to hide such a huge secret such as this from everyone, but I'm glad I did. I can't wait to see everyone's faces when I tell them that I'm going on a mission AND that I already have my call and know when I'm leaving. I changed my availability date from August 26th to September 9th because my parents desperately wanted me here for Labor Day weekend--it's their 29th wedding anniversary that weekend and they want their whole family to go up to the Storytelling Festival with them. However, I will now be changing my availability date once again to September 16th because my sister called me when she found out I was leaving 3 days before her 18th birthday and begged me to be around for that. It appears Satan is trying to get me to stay around and is using my family to do it ;) I'm sure there is a reason things worked out the way they did and I do have to leave later than I want--if I could have it my way I would have left in May. But that plan went out the door when I realized I would need to take a class during the summer so I could have my Associates finished before I left. So I was going to leave right after August 10th but then my parents are doing our annual family vacation right after that...and then it was the Storytelling Festival, and now Kim's birthday....will I never leave? Perhaps the Lord is giving me yet another lesson in patience...He must know that is one of my biggest challenges.

On a different train of thought, today we had a lesson on facing adversity and afflictions. The second counselor in the Bishopric called on me and asked me to explain how I have overcome or worked through an adversity in my life. This caused me to do some serious pondering about my accident and the many things I learned from the experience and how it was a testimony strengthener to me.

1. My testimony of Heavenly Father's Plan: I know the hand dolly was intended to hit me. I don't believe that it was by sheer accident that I walked by the truck the exact moment it fell--the timing was far too perfect. Heavenly Father knew that at that time in my life I needed a gentle reminder (ok, perhaps gentle isn't the best way to describe it-more like a smack on the head) to not take things for granted. I had gotten far too comfortable with just sliding by in the life, especially in matters of the church and the gospel. I was getting by with minimum effort on my part. The accident taught me to not become too comfortable and to not think that I'll just change those habits tomorrow because you never know when you will run out of tomorrows. I know Heavenly Father is aware of each and every one of us and knows what we need. His methods may seem odd to us (I believe having a hand dolly hit me shows that Heavenly Father has a sense of humor) but in His infinite wisdom he knows what He is doing and what is best for us. He knew that I needed that rude awakening.

2. My testimony of Priesthood Blessings: After my accident I was given a blessing that night. After the blessing the pain did not subside and began to doubt whether or not the blessing had even worked. This lapse of faith was brief, however, because I then began to ponder what had been said in the blessing. I had not been promised that I would feel no pain or that I would heal quickly. I had, however been blessed with comfort and been told that I would get better. I had first taken "comfort" to mean the pain would be gone. However, I received understanding later that "comfort" meant something else. I was comforted with knowledge; knowledge that the accident wasn't really an accident, but that it was intended for me. Immediately I stopped feeling sorry for myself and being angry that it had been me that was hit, and instead began to ponder why it had been me and what I needed to learn from this. Heavenly Father knew what I needed at that time--had He just made the pain go away I would have still continued to throw my pity party and would have made myself miserable. Instead he gave me the enlightenment that I needed, thus allowing me to have a more positive perspective on the accident, which has helped me immensely as I continue to suffer from this trial. And I still believe that what the blessing said is true--I WILL get better. I just need to keep in mind that things don't always happen in the timeframe I want them to and everything is done in the Lord's own time.

3. My love of my Savior: With the fact that there is really nothing that can be done to alleviate the pain in my neck, except being patient and waiting for it to heal slowly with time, I have come to rely heavily on my Savior. I am reminded of the poem "Footprints in the Sand". At this point of my life there is only one set of footprints-my Saviors as he carries me through this. I can't imagine how hard this trial would have been without His love, comfort, and friendship. He is the only one who has always been there for me. I love Him to no end and am honored to call Him my friend.

I am thankful for my accident--grateful the Lord's plan allowed me to live and learn from the experience.

So close!!

So I got both my doctor and dentist appointments done on Tuesday. It was not a fun day at all! I got poked and prodded and pricked and now I've got a nice bruise on my arm from the stupid lady who took my blood--as if giving blood wasn't bad enough, I now look like I got in a fight and lost. Good news is everything is looking great to getting my papers in VERY soon! All I have left is to get a picture on the website (been delaying the inevitability of taking my missionary picture) and an interview with my bishop and stake president and all the waiting will finally be over and I can get my papers in!

It's a surreal feeling to realize that I'm actually going to serve a mission. Like I said in an earlier post, serving a mission has always been a thought in the back of my mind, but nothing I had ever seriously considered. And yet, here I am, with only weeks to go before I find out where I am going to be called to serve. My emotions are very mixed right now. I definitely have no regrets and no doubts that what I'm doing is right. My emotions are more just nerves setting in and a bit of sadness as I begin to think about all the things I have to say goodbye to for a year and a half. One of the hardest things will be leaving my job--I know, I know, very weird but I love my job and not just because of what I do. I love my coworkers--they are like my second family and in many ways some of the closest friends I have. I tell my coworkers more than I tell many of my friends. I'm going to miss them very much and all the craziness of the West Valley Wal Mart branch--if you guys only knew what things we do behind the wall and screens...

I really wish I could leave on my mission as soon as possible because I know that the longer I stay here, the harder it will be to leave. I just need to keep reminding myself again and again...and again that I've made the right decision and that I am supposed to serve a mission. All my worries and fears become insignificant after that because I know I'm following the Lord's will and I know I will be blessed for it.

Memorial Day Weekend

I love long weekends--especially when I get an extra long weekend AND get paid to have the day off...gotta love working for a credit union :)

I had a fun weekend. On Friday I went and saw two movies--Star Trek and Wolverine. Both were great movies but to my surprise I liked Star Trek better. I am far from being a trekky--in fact this is my first real exposure to the show--but this movie had amazing special effects and just an interesting story line. I did get confused near the end but after having it explained to me I think I understood it. I liked Wolverine but just wasn't that impressed with it. On Sunday I went to my brother Danny's house for a barbeque and then we all played Loaded Questions--such a hilarious game, especially when my family plays it because we are all far from being serious.

On Monday I went to an early movie with my parents, sister, and Danny and his wife (Aaron and Nikki both had to work). We went to Night at the Musuem: Battle of the Smithsoneon. I was very impressed and was laughing throughout the show. It was just as good if not better than the first in my opinion. I then came home and shot some hoops with my Dad. We played PIG twice-I won once and he won once. We then played Around the World and he beat me by quite a bit unfortunately--I need to pick up a basketball more like I used to. After we got cleaned up we went to my Grandma's house for a barbeque. It was ok--I'm not too fond of large family gatherings anymore. I think it's because I have no one my age in the family so I always become rather bored. That and I haven't told any of my extended family yet that I'm going on a mission and it's rather hard to continue to keep it a secret at family gatherings--I hope I can get my papers in soon so I can finally tell my exciting news!!

After the barbeque we went and visited my Grandma and Grandpa Hurst's grave. I donated my flowers that a 60 year-old man gave me (long, awkward story ha ha...) to put on the grave. I really should visit the grave more often. I don't think I've gone since my grandpa passed away almost two years ago. I really miss both of them but my grandpa the most. He was the sweetest guy and I'm grateful that we were able to become very close before he passed away. He was such an amazing example to me of not letting life's trials get you down--my grandpa went blind when my dad was just 13 years old and yet he never appeared bitter to me and I never once heard him feel sorry for himself. He is my hero and I just keep him in mind when my own personal trials start to get to me. When I was told by many people after my accident to sue Coca Cola for all they are worth I kept my grandpa in mind. My grandpa's whole life was changed because of an industrial accident that blackened his world forever. And yet he never once sought vengeance on the company. His philosophy was that the money couldn't bring his eyesight back. I held to that same philosophy after mine--the money couldn't make the pain go away or speed up my recovery. My grandpa really was the sweetest, most loving guy I've known and I miss him immensely. However, I am grateful for his sake that he was able to leave this life and gain back the two things he longed for while he was here on earth--my grandma who passed away in 1999 and his eyesight.

Good Luck Elder Hurst!

My little brother, Chris, left to serve his mission in Indianapolis, Indiana on May 13th (exactly a week ago). I thought sending Chris off would be easier this time because I've already gone through the 2 year away thing with my older brother Danny but this time I think it's harder because he's my little brother and I'm very protective of him. The only thing that will make it easier is when I join him in the mission field and get involved with my own mission. We got our first letter from him on Sunday and he is having a hard time, which is to be expected but still hard to hear. I know he'll be a great missionary and just needs to get past the homesickness. Going to the MTC was also a reality check to me--it suddenly made me going on a mission that much more real to me. I can't believe that the next time I go back it will be me saying goodbye to my family. I am still very much excited to go on a mission, but I will admit the nerves are setting in and I'm scared.

More updates on the mission. I finally went and saw some fancy neurosurgeon up at the University of Utah. Good news and bad news. Good news is my neck looks fine--no broken or fractured bones in there, everything is in place. Bad news is that what most likely is going on with my neck is that I have torn/pulled ligaments which unfortunately can take a long time to heal. The doctor says they usually take about 2 years or more to start healing. My accident happened about 14 months ago so best case scenario I should start feeling better in about March. I really hope it doesn't take longer than that! Living with neck pain is....well a pain in the neck, pun intended ;) I am now trying to decide if I settle with Coca Cola now or when I return from my mission. The doctor thinks that I just need to wait for them to heal, which means no more doctors appointments (yay!) so if I settled now I wouldn't need to use the money for future medical payments. But I still worry something else will pop up that will require more doctors/therapy/etc that I will have to use my settlement for....this is a pretty big and tough decision and being the indecisive person I am most of the time, it may take me awhile to decide what I should do!

Mother's Day Weekend

So I just got back today from a weekend up in Park City for Mother's Day. It's been a tradition on my mom's side of the family for years to go up to my grandpa's timeshare every year to spend Mother's Day weekend. It's always a blast! This year we played baseball in the park on Saturday for hours--so much fun, despite the fact our team lost, I got hit by the ball, my uncle pushed me over to get the ball that was coming, and my nose got sunburnt :) ah...good times.

This weekend was bittersweet--It was great spending time with my whole family but it was sad because this was my brother Chris's last weekend with us. Chris leaves for the MTC on Wednesday to serve in the Indianapolis, Indiana mission. I'm so excited for him and the amazing experiences he's about to experience, but I can also understand how scared and overwhelmed he must feel--I'm already starting to experience those feelings and I haven't even put my papers in yet!! I'll really miss my brother--we've gotten a lot closer over this past year and I really look up to him (and not just because he's taller than me!) He'll be a great missionary.