Can't sleep

For some odd reason I woke up at 7 and can't go back to sleep...so much for sleeping in on my day off. I went to bed early hoping to try and sleep off my long week of school, work, and no sleep and yet I tossed and turned all night. I have so much on my mind right now.

My bishop informed me yesterday that my call has been issued. I'll receive it Wednesday, however I don't get to open it until Sunday because my older brothers want to be there when I open it.

I'm worried about my sister. I'm scared to leave her for a 18 months. We are extremely close and I'll miss her immensely, but that's not why I'm scared to leave her. I am worried about the path that she is headed down right now. Just like my older brothers when they were younger, Kim has gotten into a group of friends that have changed her. She wants nothing to do with our family and treats us all, even me at times, like scum. I never see my sister and despite my constant reminders to her that I won't be around for much longer, she still refuses to make any time for me.

She keeps throwing out the "when I'm 18" card on my parents when they insist she does things. As soon as she is 18 she is ready to throw out all the values that have been instilled her since she was little, telling me they were never her values. I am worried that she'll do what my brother Aaron did and decide to stop going to church and, just like Aaron, never come back. I think like Aaron she knows it's true, but is just too lazy to do the things she knows she needs to do. I don't think she realizes where the path she is going down leads to, that it is a lot easier to leave the church then it is to come back. My brother Aaron will attest to this. As soon as my parents stopped forcing Aaron to go to church he never went. When Danny got back from his mission Aaron started to talk about coming back. He said he would not settle for anything less than a temple marriage. Unfortunately, it was easier said than done for Aaron. About a year later Aaron got married to an awesome girl, however it was not in the temple and it wasn't to a member of the church. His wife Nikki has expressed desire to learn about the church but her own husband isn't willing to go to church with her, thus not allowing her to progress in the gospel. Aaron has become too comfortable with being lazy and the philosophy that he'll come back...tomorrow. Of course, as most procrastinators know, soon the tomorrows pile up and you run out of them and all you are left with is regrets. I don't want Kim to go through what Aaron has gone through.

I am worried to leave her because we are so close, she considers me her best friend, and I fear I am the only good example in her life right now. I've tried multiple times to explain to her how worried I am about her, but as soon as the church is mentioned, she turns a deaf ear to me. I don't think she realizes how much she means to me--how much I've prayed for her, how much I've cried over her. I feel helpless and almost like I am abandoning my sister when she needs me the most. She does not want me to go. I need to put my trust in the Lord and remember that I received a definite answer--I know where the Lord needs me to be--where I desperately want to be. I need to have faith that everything else will fall into place and is all part of the Lord's plan.